HANOVER COUNTY, Va. — Fostering a child makes a difference. Just ask Neal or Kelly Tucker.
"I don't know that you can properly put a value on it. It is an incredibly meaningful experience, and fulfilling, to help another human, especially a child who just needs direction in life," said Neal Tucker.
"They just need the support throughout. It can significantly change the course of their life if they have the love and support from family," said Kelly Tucker.
The Tuckers already had two young sons back in 2020 when Kelly started their foster care journey, just by initiating a conversation with her husband.
"I've kind of always wanted to foster," Kelly said. "But I had to talk Neal into it a little bit."
"At first, I was thinking, are you serious?" Neal said. "It was a little scary at first, just because I didn't know anything about it, and when I learned more about it, felt like it was the right thing to do."
At the time the Tuckers lived in Henrico, and Kelly had seen a notice about the availability of foster care training. So the Tuckers went through that training and not long after, welcomed their first foster child, a seven-month-old infant.
Kelly says the adjustment was just a minor one.
In the ensuing six years, the Tuckers have had a total of 11 short-term placements, which could include respite care, which provides a break for another foster family, or an emergency placement, and four long-term placements, one of whom they ended up adopting.
"Our biological sons have been so loving and accepting, and I mean we all have in general," said Kelly. "Everyone just kind of falls back into a normal routine."
As far as the practicality of becoming a foster parent, Virginia's Department of Social Services (VDSS) tries to make the process as simple as possible, all while keeping the child's well-being the first priority.
"There are a lot of steps, and that's because we're talking about children coming to potentially live with you, but as far as it being costly, not so much," said Anya Horning, the Family Engagement and Resource Family Program Manager with VDSS. "As with any child in foster care, the state will cover their health insurance. There is a stipend, because children aren't free to take care of, and we know that, so there's a stipend to help with that. Daycare is covered and there's also extra supplements for clothing and the extra stuff they need."
Horning says while considering the thousands of children across the Commonwealth who need a stable, loving environment in order to flourish can seem overwhelming, there are always children in your immediate area who need that stability and who don't want to move far away.
"While the goal of the system is to get children back with their parents or with relative caregivers, when that can't happen immediately, we want children to be able to stay where they came from," Horning said. "There's some inherent loss in foster care, and if we can reduce that by keeping kids in their schools, keeping kids in their community, and keeping kids close to their parents, it's easier to facilitate healing that relationship. That's something anyone in the state of Virginia could help with, whether that's taking a look and seeing if you're ready, or supporting someone you know who is fostering."
As the Tuckers point out, it really comes down to providing two things: structure and love.
"We've seen our teenager really progress just because of the stability provided to him," said Neal Tucker. "It wasn't any extra effort, he just needed some stability, really, to understand, 'This is when I wake up, this is when I go to sleep, this is when I eat, this is when I bathe.' Just a routine helps tremendously for a lot of these kids."
As far as whether your family might be ready to take in a foster child, Horning says just focus on helping a child in the short-term. The goal is to reunite children with their birth family or a close relative. Only when that cannot happen is something longer-term required.
"Maybe the journey is not adoption, and it's getting these children home," said Horning. "[So then you're] one more person in this child's life who loves them, and you just can't have too many people loving a child."
And the Tuckers, just like Horning, will remind you: you are not taking this journey alone.
"There are obstacles, but we've had so much good positive support from VDSS and our specific social workers, with continued trainings and then support with school clothes or school supplies. We've had tons of positive support. Foster care doesn't mean you have to open your home to 17 children and have chaos all the time. You can foster one child. Just open your heart, your home. It's well worth it."
If you would like to learn more about foster care in Virginia, click here.
You can also click here to learn more about adoption through JFS with whom CBS 6 partners for our Hand to Hold adoption series every November.
CBS 6 is committed to sharing community voices on this important topic. Email your thoughts to the CBS 6 Newsroom.
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