ETTRICK, Va. β Tony Durham Jr. will walk across the stage at Virginia State University this Saturday to receive his master's degree in Counselor Education, marking a milestone in a journey that began with military service and led through personal struggles to academic achievement and published authorship.
The 40-year-old father of five served 12 years in the U.S. Army, deploying to Iraq three times. During one deployment, Durham earned a Purple Heart when his vehicle was hit by an RPG.
"Sometimes I feel like I didn't deserve it, because I know people that died over there deserve it more," Durham said.
Durham's military service left him with trauma that he initially didn't seek help for, viewing it as a sign of weakness. Instead, he self-medicated before realizing he needed professional assistance.
"I went in and out through alcohol, went through suicidal ideation," Durham said.
The turning point came when Durham decided to change his life for his children.
"I decided to say I wanted to change my life and actually do something different, so my kids could see me different," Durham said.
Now Durham hopes to help other veterans as he pursues his goal of becoming a Doctor of Nursing Practice, specializing in psychiatric mental health.
"It kind of opened my eyes to take my story and journey to actually help others that are going through the same thing," Durham said. "Because it's good to talk to someone that can relate."
Before completing his educational journey, Durham started another path by becoming an author, publishing two books this year under the pen name IX Theory, which he says means a person reborn or redefined. One book helps older men deal with trauma, while the other is aimed at young Black men overcoming life's difficulties and systemic barriers. He dedicated the latter to his four sons.
"You come from royalty, from a lineage of power, resilience, genius and greatness," Durham read from his book. "May you always walk through life with wonder and a sense of purpose. This book, this journey, this legacy, it's all for you. It's all because of you."
Saturday's graduation represents another step in Durham's personal rebirth, but he says it won't be the last.
"I redefine myself to be an upstanding man that helps the youth and helps others seek their own journey to better themselves," Durham said.
Durham plans to continue his education and writing, with two children's books he hopes to publish in the near future.
"It feels unreal based on my own personal journey," Durham said about reaching this milestone.
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