ANN ARBOR, Mich. — A Michigan woman’s Facebook post about procreation is getting a lot of attention online. In Emily Bingham’s post, she wrote “this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.”
Bingham, who works as a freelance writer, said the questions can be hurtful for those deciding when to have children and others who struggle with infertility. She goes on to say it’s a sensitive topic that people need to be careful about discussing.
“I had dinner with some of my boyfriend’s family, and someone had made a joke about grandkids, pointed at me, and it wasn’t the first time I’d had somebody make a comment like that,” Bingham told the Detroit Free Press. “I’m 33. I’ve never been married. I’ve had people say things like, ‘You’re getting older, do you want to have kids? Your clock is ticking.'”
The post has been shared nearly 40,000 times.
“Hey everyone!!! Now that I got your attention with this RANDOM ULTRASOUND PHOTO I grabbed from a Google image search, this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family … before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works … before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking … just stop. Please stop. You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids. You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever. You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration. Sure, for some people those questions may not cause any fraught feelings — but I can tell you, from my own experiences and hearing about many friends’ experiences — it more than likely does.
Bottom line: Whether you are a wanna-be grandparent or a well-intentioned friend or family member or a nosy neighbor, it’s absolutely none of your business. Ask someone what they’re excited about right now. Ask them what the best part of their day was. If a person wants to let you in on something as personal as their plans to have or not have children, they will tell you. If you’re curious, just sit back and wait and let them do so by their own choosing, if and when they are ready.”