RICHMOND, Va. — Army veteran Jim Raines and Gold Star father Stephen Ross bond over crafting wooden flags, finding solace in their shared experiences of loss.
Jim Raines, 47, considers himself a hands-on kind of guy.
The Army veteran jumped at the chance when his friend Stephen Ross invited him to spend the day in his backyard workshop creating one of their favorite symbols: Old Glory.
"I'm charring the wood a little bit. In order to give the pull out some of the wood grain," Raines said.
Fashioning American flags is one of Ross's favorite hobbies.
Proof hangs on practically every wall of his Henrico home.
One flag in particular is special – the wooden flag his son Drew made.
"Eventually I got out and started doing things, and this was the inspiration for what we do," Raines said.
Ross serves as the director of Military Student Services at VCU.
Helping people like Raines is his passion both on and off the clock.
Raines has been serving our nation in the U.S. Army for the last 30 years. With 13 deployments to Iraq, Afghanistan and Syria under his belt, the North Carolina native will be retiring soon.
"I've loved it from the very beginning, but to me it's all about service," Raines said. "It's given me so much and being able to work on the benefit of others."
Returning to civilian life can pose challenges for service members.
So the married father of three enrolled in the eight-week STAR program at the VA. Service Members Transitional Advanced Rehab helps members of the Special Operations family like Seal Team and Green Berets with physical and mental well-being and workplace and vocational training.
"This has been a great opportunity as I'm looking at my own transition retiring that I can focus in on me and then therefore I can be better support to my own family and transitional out," Raines said.
The time spent with Ross is helping mend hidden wounds.
In 2019, Raines' youngest son Sawyer died while Raines was deployed. Sawyer was just 13.
"Of my three boys, he was probably the closest to me and in the way that he acted and the things that he did," Raines said. "He loved the outdoors. Loved music, even my music which is 80s hair band. So we had a lot of good times."
Five years later the pain always lingers.
"Still dealing with it, and I didn't know, I was deployed when we lost Sawyer," Raines said.
Ross, more than anyone, knows what Raines endures. Ross lost his only son Drew who was serving in Afghanistan.
Drew was killed on November 27, 2018.
"So the last Christmas that he was alive Drew gave me this shadowbox," Ross said. "This flag was on the vehicle when Drew was killed by the IED. We lost four good men that day."
Ross remembers their last conversation two days before he died.
"He ended it with, 'Love you Pops. I'll call you when we're done with this mission. Just wanted to hear your voice and talk to you before I went out on this one because this one is going to be a little dicey,'" Ross said.
The Drew Ross Memorial Foundation supports the woodworking classes to further Drew's legacy and support Special Operation soldiers. Ross proudly displays the first flag Drew ever made.
"The closer that you can get to him. The more you feel his presence this is something that he built. He built with his own hands," Ross said.
On this day guest woodworker Raines is adding a personal touch to his flag.
"We disassembled the bed and I knew that I wanted to do something with the wood so this is this is gonna be something that I can hold onto," Raines said.
Part of his Sawyer's bedpost and a slice of wood from a fallen tree at Arlington National Cemetery where so many of Raines' friends are buried.
"It is going to be painted blue... all three of my boys," Raines said. "So this flag will represent many aspects of my life."
Ross has welcomed more than 50 service members to his backyard. They build unbreakable bonds during their daylong visits.
"It is very special. I've never had another guy here who has lost a son. It is something that we have in common," Ross said. "He would be real proud of this program, Drew liked to give back."
Raines and Ross's friendship was born out of great loss but in this workshop student and teacher find hands-on healing together.
"It is a great feeling to be able to put something like this together. It means a lot," Raines said. "So construction and rebuilding from bleak times and taking stuff from raw materials and turning into a finished product is something that speaks to me. (Sawyer) is with me every day."
CBS 6 is committed to sharing community voices on this important topic. Email your thoughts to the CBS 6 Newsroom.
📲: CONNECT WITH US
Blue Sky| Facebook| Instagram| X| Threads| TikTok| YouTube
This story was initially reported by a journalist and has been converted to this platform with the assistance of AI. Our editorial team verifies all reporting on all platforms for fairness and accuracy.
